What you are about to read contains ridiculousness, so get ready for some shenanigans. But, before you go any further, try your luck with the crossword puzzle. It’s about wild animals tripping out and getting high.
Below the crossword, you will find the answers and explanations behind them… that is if one can explain such behavior. To help get you started, here’s a taste of what’s to come… be sure to wait for the end for the hungover warthog. You won’t want to miss it.
Messed up Monkeys
Monkeys like to get messed up. They do it because they like the intoxicating effect, especially when it comes to alcohol. In the Caribbean Islands, the monkeys are known for stealing drinks from tourists. In fact, these monkeys like to indulge so often, we have actually studied it. Surprise, surprise, their drinking habits are very similar to human beings:
- Most monkeys drink in moderation
- 12% of monkeys drink heavily
- 5% drink excessively
- A small group of the population rejects alcohol entirely
- Juvenile monkeys drink more than adults
Opiate farmers do not have it easy. Imagine this is your life: you live in a country where opium poppies are legally grown for pharmaceutical products. After spending the time and money to navigate through all the bureaucratic hoops, you are finally growing. You look outside at a field of poppies and what do you see? A wasted wallaby walking in circles, destroying your crops and eating the heads. You have no choice but to try to deal with the messed-up marsupial. Unfortunately, the problem is beyond control, to the point where the government has to step in.
This wallaby got messed up and passed out under a tree.
This might seem like a ridiculous problem, but for farmers in Tasmania, it’s a serious issue. In 2009, the issue was brought to Tasmania Attorney-General Lara Giddings during a budget hearing. “We have a problem with wallabies entering poppy fields, getting as high as a kite and going around in circles,” The Mercury newspaper quoted Giddings as telling the hearing. “Then they crash. We see crop circles in the poppy industry from wallabies that are high.“
Parrots getting high and passing out
Opium farmers in other parts of the world, still have to deal with shenanigans from animals. In India, the threat comes from the sky. Wild parrots have become a serious issue for opiate farmers because they steal so much of the crop. On average, ten percent of every harvest is taken by birds. A lot of effort has gone into preventing this but every attempt has been futile. After all, parrots are highly intelligent animals. For example, the birds have learned not to make any noise and fly low to avoid detection. They steal a poppy head, fly back to their nest, get high, and pass out. Sadly, many get so high that they fall out of trees; even worse, they are too messed up to fly away from approaching predators.
Siberian Reindeer are also known for eating magic mushrooms, especially Amanita Muscaria. These mushrooms are considered toxic to humans but many have eaten them anyway. For humans, the effect is said to be extremely energizing and can even increase strength; making them the strain of choice of Berserker Vikings. We don’t know for sure if it gets them high, however, behavior changes have been observed following ingestion. Apparently, these reindeer go from walking around normally and munching on grass, to jumping and frolicking with reckless abandon… and they aren’t the only ones. Many different species of animals love to eat these magic mushrooms and many other strains as well.
Watch this little squirrel eat a hero’s dose of magic mushrooms. This video was taken in Richmond, BC.
Coyotes on Shrooms
Coyotes in California have been eating mushrooms and tripping out. There are many reports of coyotes approaching cars and acting strange around people. Although they don’t know for certain, scientists speculate that magic mushrooms are to blame.
Human beings like to party and we are not the only species. Only a few have been listed here; there are many, many more party animals in the kingdom. Stay tuned till next week for more animals getting high and drunk.